Being Beautiful and Laughing While Burning Bridges

I am fucking beautiful. I unashamedly know this and declare this. I’m told to be modest and deny myself, out of some Christianised morality of shame and repression. But I know this, because I know myself, because I know my Being and becoming, because I am my Being and becoming, and it is beautiful.

Last night I got a message from an anarchist contact of mine saying “I consider you the only beautiful nihilist”, which put a smile on my face, because I thoroughly enjoy being seen as beautiful and having my presence felt in the world. I receive, because of my writings and music, messages from online folk sending love and praise a fair bit, and thoroughly enjoy it.

I also fucking love the hate and the attempts at attacking and wounding through virtual means!

I’m not gonna post names here, partly because most of the people who are gonna read this will just get the main individual I am referring to and who I am focusing on through what I say, because I’m largely revealing nothing and stating something obvious. I’m also not gonna put names here because the idea seems ugly and I am beautiful. And one last reason (though there might be more) is that, this individual has just far too many fake internet accounts that who their virtual presence is is even more meaningless and nothing than those of us who just use our everyday socially constructed self as our virtual image.

One might ask – “what is the point in writing this if you aren’t going to out this person”. But I’d point again to my first reason for not naming and also point out that this individual will read this, feel their existential abyss and know that they are seen as nothing.

But before I delve into the hilarity of the wannabe anarcho-tyrant, I’d like to acknowledge the hate I get and thoroughly enjoy from those trolls whose comments I never both to approve and the individual who used to email me hate after basically everything I ever published on here and several other places online – that you acknowledge me at all and that you feel that I am worth trying to “take down” is cute and I thank you for it (if you ever met me in person you’d realise the degree to which I feed off of disapproval and seek it out for entertainment among my friends and loved ones at most opportunities to do so).

But now I feel to burn a bridge and dance upon its ashes.

In virtual anarchy land there is an individual who infects discussions and feeds off of the carcasses of those he infects – largely via google ads. You can find this person on just about every anarchist Facebook group attention/follower seeking within threads and sharing their posts from their personal (business) page on their anarchist-media monopoly. (This is fucking hilarious, given the amount this individual rants about anarcho-capitalists all the time.)

This individual’s monopoly mainly capitalises through a mass-produced mass-marketed form of eco-radical/anarcho-primitivist branding, which reduces Real struggles, ways of living and philosophies worth exploring to a Spectacle of fashion-wilding. They very often use their own image and the image of their family as models for their product, so you’ll likely be familiar with their face, though perhaps not on many of their fake accounts, where they’ve been known to use flirty messages to draw anarcho-bros into consuming their media monopolies product. And if you are in anyway connected through Facebook to this world of ideas and lifestyles, you’ll quite possibly be consuming their brand through their collection of pages, with clickbait content.

Until recently, I was an admin on 3 of their pages – Black & Green Anarchist, Green Anarchy/Anarcho-Primitivists and (my favourite title) Environmentalism Eco-anarchism Rewilding Earth Liberation First (rolls off the tongue doesn’t it!) – but (and prepare for sad face time) I was removed as admin by this individual ( 😦 😥 ) and I can’t stop finding it hilarious. I’d gotten involved with the pages, partly as a means of using them to share my own writings, but also to get content on struggles I think should be seen and supported out there, and because I enjoy sharing and creating anti-civ memes and bringing some wildness to horrificness that is this social media culture. But because I didn’t provide this individual monetary gains through my content, and as such threatened their monopoly through not letting myself be emersed within it, I was deemed “disrespectful” (sad face guys, I didn’t make them monies #radicalsforcash ). Other sites, which you see the content of on this individuals pages being posted all day everyday, do pay this individual for sharing their content, and you’ll notice that their clickbait appeals to the most trendy liberal-hippie-radical Burning Man going hipster douchebags.

Now for authenticities sake, it seems fair to acknowledge that on my other blog feralculture.blog I have ads on it, with the idea being that maybe eventually I might be able to make a small amount of income from it, as part of any income I can make from writing – because I am gonna do what I can to survive this culture. I make no apologies for this and feel no shame about this, largely as I don’t push the site to-push-the-site and focus on matters that move me and I think should be read about, not “what are people gonna click and click ads over” – while working a day job that directly deals with reducing the damage this culture inflicted upon vulnerable people.

Those I’ve spoken to within this individuals monopoly also don’t make enough on their individual sites to make a lasting personal income – working day jobs along side writing. In fact it appears that this “anti-civ” anarcho-capitalist anarcho-tyrant is the only person involved in their media monopoly gaining anything, capitalising on the horrors of civilisation by joining the reduction of eco-radicalism to marketable social capital and fashion Spectacle.

Now anarchists who want to play mini-tyrants and control other peoples anarchist projects are fucking hilarious in and of itself, but this individuals attempt at wounding mine by removing me as an admin, as punishment for not sending them money, is just so funny I can’t contain it within me and felt the urge to write this, not to “bring them down” or any shit like that, but for a few of my contemporaries to read, for my followers, who send me love and remind me of my beauty, and for this pathetic meaningless eco-capitalist abyss to read and know that they are seen for what they are, not just by me, but by many who encounter their brand and find it disgusting.

And to end, I want to thank the individual for freeing me from ties to their radical-capitalist anarcho-primitivist brand, not that I have any issue with anarcho-primitivism(/ists), as it leaves me more space for feral dances and iconoclastic joy.

So, by whatever name you want to go by, I look upon you and laugh – though it might be gallows humour, as your brand usurps legitimate resistance and revolt – and the only thing I have left to say to you is: fuck you and fuck off, you will forever be a tragic joke to me.

Feral and iconoclastic until death.

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